In 2007 , Gogol Joined the software industry, an industry in India which is as pious as scared earth , Yeah maybe that’s what people think. All he took was his Rucksack filled with what he could usually wear for a week , a piece of diary , yeah a piece of diary which was torn enough to be eaten easily by the smelling rat , but which was his precious wealth more than the Titan he had in his wrist , the costliest thing he possessed till date, handful of money , a debit card of his brother , the white papers printed black which said that he was a Mechanical Engineer by Graduation and set of other documents. He moved to the city which he had lived for pleasant number of years to join the then second ranked company.
Software Industry as we say , is nothing but institution and we have all been institutionalized. First when people join or rather people are about to join , the smell in this shit hole murmurs around your nose for the best part of time you have in the day. This industry is funny. First you Love them, then you get used to them , then the system uses you. After long enough, you get so you depend on them. That's "institutionalized.” Software industry is where we want to have our life and that’s the same we give up … the Life.
Gogol’s Life was just as to get used to the society of what he has chosen. To earn his daily living he had decided to give up what he wanted to be, that of being something in the world, that of doing something in the world that can make him happy living at heart, that of not sacrificing his life for what we call to get institutionalized. It’s really pity that people choose to live in this industry to make a life which hasn’t been possible at least for Gogol without sacrificing the smallest of thing he could wish , an happy sleep. For all we live is to have a satisfied night thinking about what we have done for the day.
Half a decade passed by , Gogol’s life has never changed just for a change of the name of the Institution. Gogol still sleeps lazy nights disturbed of thoughts that makes him curse himself for what he had decided that day and for what he is in a position that not allows to jump the four walls of this prison to the outer world away from being institutionalized, into the world where he can think of himself and his ambitions that can give him a peaceful sleep in the night with what he has done in the day.
After five years of being institutionalized do you feel rehabilitated ?
Rehabilitated ? well now , let’s see . You know . I don’t have any idea of that word means.
Well are you satisfied being in this industry and wish to live in this institution or in the similar institutions like this for rest of your career ?
I know what it means . To me this world which you are talking about is a make-up world. It’s a politician’s society, a place where there isn’t any scope of dream and ambition, there is no place here for what we call , reward and recognition, people like you wearing a suit and a tie having a job working on an excel sheet day in and day out , talking over the voip like a pig’s yawn … what you want to know ?
Am I happy being in this institution ? Am I ready to serve this institution free from all problems which I take up? There isn’t a single day I haven’t regretted to what I have done, by joining , by being institutionalized , shaking the whacking tail like of a dog on the command of his master.
Not even a single night passes by without the regret of why did I took the train to the city of spirit and hope, why I accepted the self-imposed punishment of living a life away from one’s dream… not even a single day passes by…
I look back as what I was half a decade ago. Not even hundred bugs in my wallet, roaming around mount road shouldering a bag full of a novel , a camera a paper a pen thinking that one day this road might lead to Kodambakkam(area in chennai which hosts Kollywood), the place of desire and ecstasy, a place only dreamers and that those of its achievers can go.
I look back the days I was happy having a meal per day though satisfied in order to save time and money for a shoot , for a travel or for a movie or for a meet or just to walk around the marina .
I look back and curse myself that I have missed everything being in this industry which I thought can make my dream come true, rather what happened was different. I have been more institutionalized. The hand which ought to be writing the screenplay started hitting at the fiber board transforming into something meaningful for the client and for self it is just nothing but getting institutionalized.
Yeah when I look back , I feel myself spending a daily picnic in a rats hole with only the rats enjoying the party. I got to live with that dream , that distant dream that can only be dreamt of.
And for your question , I really don’t give a damn.
Life is all about pressure and time , That’s all it takes really… pressure and time..
With all his dreams , thanks to the society Gogol lives in , he gets life time sentence to be institutionalized. Final Verdict : DETAINED for rest of life in this rats hole.
To Be Continued ... Gogol Never Dies..
